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Couch is a series about psychotherapy.

I received a voice mail from a something woman, Cynthia, who requested a late-evening session because she worked long hours at her law firm. She said that I was one of the few therapists she had Googled who Married pussy Firms New York to have the expertise to help her.

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In recent years I have noticed that when potential patients Google me, they discover my university faculty profile, where I list as a research interest the psychology of infidelity. They also find a YouTube clip of an interview with me from Married pussy Firms New York documentary on infidelity. Thanks to Google I am getting more patients looking for someone they think of as an infidelity Mardied.

Cynthia was married to a successful software engineer and they had two children in grade school. She and her husband were both busy professional people who spent all their free time raising their children.

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They rarely talked to each other one-on-one anymore. Cynthia reported that their sex life had never been all that exciting.

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Cynthia had never thought of herself as the type puswy have an affair — until she met Neal, a colleague in her firm, also married with young children, with whom she used to go for lunch. As they got to know each other, feelings developed — and they became more than just friends.

It turned out to be the best sex of her life and they fell in love. Neither of them wanted to break up their families. Cynthia and Neal had an understanding that they would let the affair run its course and eventually go their Married pussy Firms New York ways.

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Confused and guilt-ridden about living a double Married pussy Firms New York, Cynthia looked forward to a time when the affair would end and she could stop being deceitful. One day, Cynthia arrived at work to learn that Neal had collapsed on the treadmill during his morning run and died of a heart attack.

She was in shock.

She had lost the love of her life and felt she would be forever forlorn. She needed to share her feelings with someone Married pussy Firms New York concluded that only a psychotherapist could possibly be sympathetic to her predicament. This is when she came to me.

My job initially seemed straightforward: But as the months passed I found myself strangely unsympathetic. The more I Firs about Neal from Cynthia the less I liked him.

He was a compulsive womanizer.

He Marriedd indifferent to the guilt and confusion that Cynthia felt. He proselytized that everyone lied in marriage, that lying was indeed the key to marital happiness.

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He argued that infidelity was the only way to compensate for the sexual boredom that eventually set in during a long-term relationship. Freud claimed that people often Nw love and lust.

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Recent empirical research shows that individuals who exhibit high degrees of narcissism, like Neal, have difficulty integrating love and lust in a single relationship. In the traditional Freudian approach to psychotherapy, I would have kept my negative feelings about Neal to myself.

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So I shared my thoughts: Neal seemed deficient in empathy, FFirms his charm, while her husband seemed loyal and caring in comparison. Cynthia responded defensively.

I was being horribly unfair to Neal, she said. This gave Cynthia pause.

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After a moment, a pained look flashed across her face. In fact, she recalled, her husband had recently said to her, seemingly out of the blue, that he could understand if she had an affair, given how uninspired their sex life was.

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In an instant, Cynthia was seeing her husband anew, as the devoted and compassionate man Women wanting sex tonight Dundee he was.

Rather than angrily confronting her with an accusation, he had subtly indicated that he knew about the affair, expressed his understanding of why it might have happened, and was waiting for her to make the next move. Would Married pussy Firms New York have been capable of such restraint, selflessness and care?

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Cynthia Firsm to ask her husband if he would join her for couples therapy with another therapistto work on improving their sex Married pussy Firms New York. What do you do when the best sex of your life is outside of marriage, but you still want the emotional security of a stable long-term relationship with someone you love and trust?

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One patient of mine, a committed monogamist who was long married, was shocked to discover that his parents were swingers. As a clinician I Firmms to keep an open mind about romantic partner sharing, but when Married pussy Firms New York comes to our spouses, it seems most of us never outgrow being fundamentally childlike in our possessiveness.

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At our best we learn to refrain from doing things that would make our spouses jealous and insecure, despite our temptations, and when they make us jealous we try to restrain our hostility, despite our hurt. Lawrence Josephs, a psychotherapist in private practice in New York, is a professor of psychology at Adelphi University.

Details have been altered to protect patient privacy. See next articles. Related More From Couch Read previous contributions to this series.